When you need a partially sentient defense against the harsh, cold wind, zip up your Portal 2 Turret Hoodie. It may not understand what's going on or why it's here or why it's alive, but it does what it's programmed to do. And that programming says to keep you warm. Please note, if you've fallen and can't get up, the Portal 2 Turret Hoodie will do nothing to help you.
See the chart below to choose your size: